I have read your web
site and was knocked out by what I read, it was exactly what my
present husband does, says, and has distorted everything I say, do, and
think. I was so dumbfounded, at the exactness.
I have mentioned counseling too him,
because I realized I needed something or someone to help me with my
anger. I am and have never been an angry person, but he just sets me off
with his ways. I am not angry, I'm about a mile past at infuriated!
After reading your website now I know why and I have to start taking
full responsibility for this anger, and feelings that I have about
myself. I asked him did he get counseling yet and he says "
oh yea", but I don't think he has because then he says " how
can I talk to some one when it's just half the story, and anyway you
need to see someone". From my understanding on how to handle
this I can only worry about me. I will no longer bug him about
this, he's made up his mind. We have three kids and I didn't realize it
but my anger spilled out unto our kids, I just didn't realize, and now I
do. I prayed so hard, and was much more relieved to
understand why I was so angry. I went to my stepson's carnival
today, like I promised him and didn't blow it off, he was so proud of
me, it felt so good.
Throughout my life in relationships with
men, I have had almost no boundaries, I always thought if you love
someone you do what they ask, this thinking has landed me in 2 torn
marriages, and damage to my sense of self and a lack of self-discipline,
I have yet to fully understand the full impact of even to this day.
Maybe my first marriage could have worked out. My second was
murderously abusive, and frightening, he enjoyed fear, intimidation,
hitting, screaming, yelling, but slightly psychotic, he says one night
" I'm already dead, I'm just here for the children". I'll
never forget this for the rest or my life. I left him and took my son,
he did tell me " if you leave, I won't have anything to do with
that kid". I thought to myself "good".
Any way this third marriage unfortunately
is what you explained about in the more controlling aspect, but not as
violent as the first, and I am the one who gets very angry at his
constantly being controlling, and so I have done some outlandish things
in retaliation. He wouldn't get out my car so I drove him to the police
station; one day he sat on the hood of my car, so I took off with
him on the hood and then swung the car, and he was rolled off, I almost
hit him. I've thrown things at him. I read your website and I felt
shame and no anger at him anymore, but very down on myself. sorry for
the lack of brevity in this letter.
