I
am currently involved with a fellow who was married to the same person!
(an evil twin perhaps, if that is possible!) Right down to the
accidental pregnancy. He has had a couple of girlfriends before me, and
has been divorced for 6 years. He has a teenage daughter, who cannot be
in the house if I stay overnight (per request of kali II, though she has
a live-in who has been there for three of those six divorced years). She
stays with him (dad) for four nights out of the week, usually weekends
of course, (we both work Monday thru Friday) so I can only see him when
she is not there, which varies: Sometimes Thursdays or whenever
the wench finds out we were planning a trip or something, she comes up
with an absolutely must do "can you watch the kid this week, for
seven days" stuff.
His daughter has
even gone so far as to demand I not be in the house for a visit when she
is there. We, daughter and father, myself, do absolutely nothing to
strengthen any relationship that we, she and I could have developed. She
barely talks to me as it is with the exception of answering the phone
when I call. Strictly social hi how are ya's.
She recently has
been diagnosed with clinical depression, (good I thought, an explanation
for behavior) and was put on the wonder drug Prozac.
No change, and worse behavior combined now with suicidal thoughts! Ex-
wifey, who puts all health care costs on my sweetie, cannot be bothered
to bring daughter to therapy once a week, three towns away, (my
sweetie not only pays for her care, but $900 monthly for support,
European vacations clothing, food, spending money, and any whim) and
drives her to her therapy, due to its inconvenience for wifey to drive
that Beemer to therapy for her daughter. By the way, he lives a few
towns away, and does this happily, for he loves his daughter and will
always want what is right for her. Be it known that wifey goes on
vacation 3 times a year, and does not bring her
daughter.
As for us, he has
already told me we will never marry. He would not go through the same
aggravation, as he puts it. Hell I wouldn't either, but I would think
that after two years of my supporting him emotionally, and always being
there when he needs me I ask for very little in return. We get along on
an emotional level, and in a lot of ways we are lucky, but one nagging
question persists: how can someone fill him in that everyone is
different? That not all women are out to mess him over (though his ex
and daughter do seem to manage quite well), and, why can't he understand
that because of all the Satans who have gone before that the good ones
have to work 50 times as hard to get less than half of the positive
results???
Dear Lady,
An interesting
question. One I've seen over and over. Perhaps you should be just a tad
less accommodating; a tad truer to you. -Dr. Irene
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