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4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

Watch For Red Flags!


  Excerpt from the book Men Don’t Listen by Wayne Misner

January 25, 2002   

A number of years ago, one of the well-known women’s magazines surveyed divorced women.  One question asked was, “Why did you get a divorce?”  The answers were--he was lazy, would not work, an alcoholic, on drugs, cheated, was abusive (emotional, physical, sexual, mental, verbal), and many other reasons.  The next question was “Did you know that he had this problem before you married him?”  The answer for a very large percentage of the divorced women was, “Yes.” The next question was, “Why did you marry him knowing that there was a problem?”  The answer was, “I thought that if I gave him my love and if he loved me enough, he would change.”

My advice to my women readers is that you should not marry a man that you know has a problem.  If you really love him, confront him now. Make a demand that if he wants you he must go to counseling and correct the problem first.  If he will not solve the problem first, walk away and do not turn around.  Be careful that if he gets counseling and changes, you wait at least six months to one year after counseling is complete to see that he does not slip back into his previous pattern.  Do this procedure before you marry him, and you will lower the odds of getting a divorce afterwards.  If my men readers see themselves in the following list beware.  It very well could be that you couldn’t keep a relationship because you do fit these areas, or you’re about to lose the one who loves you because you refuse to see yourself.


Watch how he acts with others. (If he is not nice, chances are he will treat you the same.)


Does he drink? How much?


Does he take drugs?


Do you feel stifled?


Is he abusive?


Does he hurt animals?


What kind of relationship does he have with his mother, father, brothers, sisters, kids, etc.


Does he respect the law?


Does he cheat?


Do little things he is doing bother you?


Does he lie?


Does he steal?


Is he short tempered?


Does he drive like a maniac?


Do your friends tell you he is no good for you?              


Does he yell at or curse other drivers?


Does he feel nothing is ever his fault?


Can he admit when he is wrong or makes a mistake?


Will he say he is sorry?


Would you rather stay home than see him?


To order an autographed copy of Men Don’t Listen:

Go to:


Talk with the Author

 Reprinted with permission of the author

Dear Wayne,

Thanks again for sharing your wisdom. Allow me to take this opportunity to let you know how much I enjoy Men Don't Listen and your straightforward approach - which is why I am delighted to print  your contributions.

By the way, I'm sure you wouldn't disagree that some men can ask themselves the same questions about the difficult woman in their life!

Readers, Wayne invites you to email him directly above or to post to the attached board; he replies!  For the record, I don't get royalties or other payment for book sales resulting from these pages. I just like his stuff.

Happy posting!  Doc


 I just want to read the posts.