How to get Dr. Irene's Advice: Look here!

Ask The Doc Board Archives

The CatBox Archives

Stories Archives


Below is an Interactive Board sampler. A fuller listing is found in the "Stories" menu above.

4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

Dr. Irene on Family Violence and Gender Issues

Dr. Irene on Family Violence and Gender Issues

A reader brings up some thought-provoking stuff:

February 12, 2000

Dr. Irene,

I wrote to you a few weeks ago about your pages and some of the content presented. At first I found it confusing / contradictory. It was after reading your explanations that one phrase helped me realized that you were trying to paint the picture that we can not actually go by any set of guidelines or rules - as human behavior is quite complex and should be studied on almost a case by case basis. I must go on a case-by-case.

Well that would take too long and I understand why we have developed systems of classifications. I later inquired about certain family/gender issues. I understand too. Good thing everybody is not me!

Well now I have found more information on what I was actually looking for. In addition, I think that it would greatly complement you site (or at least some of the information will) as it is of a neutral/objective nature.

If it is not to much to ask, could I get your opinion on this?

I have provided the following link:

Respectfully, Rob

Dear Rob,

The link you sent argues that male abuse by female perpetrators is vastly under-reported and that these biased statistics ultimately result in misleading and destructive pro-victim feminist bias against men.

Interesting stuff! As much as I hate any "conspiracy theory" type stuff, the authors make a good case for their position. I will add the link to my Links pages because it is food for thought - and everybody needs to make up their own mind. 

My opinion: This is way out of my scope of expertise. I haven't done my homework, and its not likely I will get to it in this lifetime. I don't know what the "truth" is, but I don't doubt this type of thing goes on. 

My bias: I hate to see feminist or victim groups bash men. I hate to see angry guys bash women. I plain hate to see bashing. (I even wonder about the psychological integrity of the people who have the time and energy to lead any crusade...even those I think appropriate!)

I just hate it when an individual jumps on a bandwagon and uses that bandwagon as a vehicle for the expression of their own individual unresolved "stuff!"  That's where I come from when I refer to angry feminists group and victim rights, enabling vs. empowering the victim, etc.  

My limits: I have to stay in territory I am familiar with: Each person is responsible for their own behavior and their own mis-behavior no matter what!  

I believe that if each individual dealt with their own stuff first rather than outside stuff first, they would not have the energy to bother with that outside the self. This is my belief and is what is right for myself, that's all. I do not advocate this position for all - what a funny world that would be! But, that's why I am a psychologist as opposed to sociologist or lawmaker or political scientist... 

Thank you for your interest and for the interesting stuff you bring up!  Many regards, Dr. Irene

I'd like to read what others have said.