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Below is an Interactive Board sampler. A fuller listing is found in the "Stories" menu above.

4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

Safety Plan

Personal Safety Plan

Contributed by a Catbox member (website no longer exists).

Above all, try something. - Franklin Delano Roosevelt

From: The Clover Patch

Thursday, March 09, 2000 1:18 PM

Step 1. Safety during violence.

I can use the following options:
a. If I decide to leave, I will________________________________________________
See Your Safety Plan.

b. I can keep a bag ready and put it______________________ so I can leave quickly.

c. I can tell________________________________about the violence and have them call the police when violence erupts.

d. I can teach my children to use the telephone to call the police and the fire department.

e. I will use this word code________________________________for my children,friends, or family to call for help.

f. If I have to leave my home, I will go_________________________________________.(Be prepared even if you think you will never have to leave.)

g. I can teach these strategies to my children.

h. When an argument erupts, I will move to a safer room such as___________________________________________________________. See Your
Safety Plan.

i. I will use my instincts, intuition, and judgement. I will protect myself and my children until we are out of danger.

Step 2. Safety when getting ready to leave.

I can use the following strategies:
a. I will leave money and an extra set of keys with___________________________________________.

b. I will keep important documents and keys at_______________________________________________________.

c. I will open a savings account by this date___________________________________ to increase my independence.

d. Other things I can do to increase my independence


e. The domestic violence hotline is _____________________.

f. The shelter's hotline is _________________________.

g. I will keep change for phone calls with me at ALL times. I know that if I use a telephone credit card, that the following month the telephone bill will tell the batterer who I called after I left. I will keep this information confidential by using a prepaid phone card, using a friend's telephone card,
calling collect, or using change.

h. I will check with_________________________ and ______________________ to
know who will let me stay with them or who will lend me money.

i. I can leave extra clothes with___________________________.

j. I will review my safety plan every ___________________(time frame) in
order to plan the safest route. I will review the plan with
 ______________________________ (a friend, counselor or advocate.)

k. I will rehearse the escape plan and practice it with my children.

Step 3. Safety At Home

I can use the following safety methods:
a. I can change the locks on my doors and windows as soon as possible.

b. I can replace wooden doors with steel doors.

c. I can install security systems- i.e. additional locks, window bars, poles to wedge against doors, electronic sensors, etc.

d. I can purchase rope ladders to be used for escape routes from the second floor.

e. I can install smoke detectors and buy fire extinguishers for each floor of my home.

f. I can install an outside lighting system that lights up when someone approaches my home.

g. I will teach my children how to use the phone to make collect calls to me and to ___________________________ (friend, family, minister) if my partner tried to take them.

h. I will tell the people who care for my children, who has permission to pick up my children. My partner is NOT allowed to. Inform the following people:

Day Care___________________________________
Sunday School______________________________

i. I can tell my the following people that my partner no longer lives with me and that they should call the police if he is near my residence:
Church Leaders______________________________

Step 4. Order of Protection

The following steps will help enforce the order of protection:
a. I will keep the protection order______________________(the location). Always
keep it with you.

b. I will give my protection order to police departments in the areas that visit my friends, family, where I live, and where I work.

c. If I visit other counties, I will register my protection order with those counties.

d. I can call the local domestic violence agency if I am not sure how to register my protection order with the police departments.

e. I will tell my employer, my church leader, my friends, my family and others that I have a protection order.

f. If my protection order gets destroyed, I know I can go to the County Courthouse and get another copy.

g. If my partner violates the protection order, I will call the police and report it. I will call my lawyer, my advocate, counselor, and/ or tell the courts about the violation.

h. If the police do not help, I will call my advocate or my attorney AND I will file a complaint with the Chief of the Police Department.

i. I can file a private criminal complaint with the district judge in the jurisdiction that the violation took place or with the District Attorney.

domestic violence advocate will help me do this.

Step 5. Job and Public Safety

I can do the following:
a. I can tell my boss, security, and ___________________ at work about this situation.

b. I can ask___________________________________ to help screen my phone calls.

c. When leaving work I can do the following:

d. When I am driving home from work and problems arise, I can

e. If I use public transportation, I can ____________________________________________________________________

f. I will shop at different grocery stores and shopping malls at different hours than I did when I was with my partner.

g. I will use a different bank and bank at different hours than I did when I was with my partner.

h. I can also do the following:

Step 6. Drug and Alcohol Use.

I can enhance my safety if I do the following:
a. If I am going to use, I am going to do it in a safe place with people who understand the risk of violence and who are committed to my safety.

b. I can also_____________________________________________________________

c. If my partner is using, I can _______________________________________________________________________

d. I can also

e. To protect my children, I can

Step 7. Emotional Health

I can do the following:
a. If I feel depressed and ready to return to a potentially violent situation/ partner, I can _________________________________________________________________________
I can call

b. When I have to talk to my partner in person or on the phone, I can

c. I will use "I can..." statements and I will be assertive with people.

d. I can tell myself


>when I feel people are trying to control or abuse me.

e. I can call the following people and/ or places for support: _______________________________________________________________________

f. Things I can do to make me feel stronger are: