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4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

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1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

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7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

Prescription Drug Addicted Abusive Wife

Prescription Drug Addicted Abusive Wife

February 14, 2000

Dear Dr. Irene,  

As a husband and father for 25 years I have never seen a book about abusive wives... I must be the only one in the world who has one, which makes it pretty hard to get advice.  Have you seen Abused Men by Phillip W. Cook for starters? Have you joined one of this site's support lists? Or posted to the Bulletin Board? You will find you are not alone at all...

My wife has been certifiably drug addicted for at least ten years - over-dosing several times a years and verbally abusing me and our 4 children. She projects all her profane and abusive language at us...saying "You are making me this way" and "You are abusing me," when her obnoxious, drunken appearance and vulgar language repulses us!

She has books and local support groups who egg her on. Since she is pathological, anyone who has never met her children, husband, or family believes her fabrications. She even goes to counselors who believe her as long as no one (who has known her) gets to speak with them.  My children and I have visited many different counselors over 10 years to try to get family help but she drops any counselor who hears the truth about her and gets a different one. She may drop the counselor, but you don't have to. Why not stick around and get yourselves some help? (You know, you and the kids need it as much as she does!)

She has several "chronic pain" issues that require 8 doctors and 7 different pharmacies to get her "required supplies" (injections and 1000s of pain killers). In our state she can not be forced to get help unless she hurts someone.  She shows no self-respect while demanding respect at the same time. My children are refusing to talk to her when she is stoned (most of the time). I can't watch her kill herself much longer, but I don't have the guts to throw her out since her own family won't take her.  What do you think will happen if this continues??? What do you think will happen?

Dear Repulsed,

Take a look at some of the borderline personality literature. You'll also find some titles on the Book Shelf and links. Your wife may fit the bill.

You can't stand it. Understandable. What about your kids? What do they want to do? Why not attend some Naranon 12-Step meetings with or without the kids - since your wife is a prescription drug addict. I understand her family won't take her, but it seems as though letting her do her thing at home is not helping her - not to mention what it must be doing to your kids.

It's your life. It's your kids' lives. Think about it...

My best regards, Dr. Irene