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4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

Passive-Aggressive & Codependent

Passive-Aggressive and Codependent

January 11, 2000

Dear Dr. Irene,

Having browsed your GREAT site for a month or two, I just want to say it is very good. I do appreciate what you are doing for men and women in bad relationships.

Me....I'm fine. No abuse, physical or otherwise from my husband of 20+ years.  If anything I am the world's best co-dependent.

Have come to think my mother, with whom we live with to help care for her, was very VERY controlling and verbally/emotionally abusive to my two younger sisters and myself.  I am the most compliant...the most passive-aggressive.

It's hard to say what exactly is going on...not much really. I am a professional, little league coach, Sunday school teacher, youth group leader, with 5 teenagers at home, and with a husband almost done with a new degree.

I used to write poetry,  and FEEL STUFF. Now I feel nothing. or like I want to escape from ALL OF THEM.  And they aren't BAD to me.

I like/liked a book called "Too Good for Her own Good."  It looks at codependence from a bit of a different slant.

Some of us aren't really abused. we are just unhappy and can't really tell why.  Wish I knew.

Thanks anyway. Me

Dear Me,

This is not very hard: Passive aggressive, not feeling stuff, wanting to get away from all of them. 

I think you are very angry and don't want to deal with it.