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4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

Abusive Newlywed

Abusive Newlywed

Subj:    advice needed
Date:    3/21/99 
From:   Joyce
To:      drirene

Dr. Irene,
I am a newlywed, three months now. I recently asked my husband to leave the house because his every three day volcanic emotional explosions of anger, name calling and delusional lies so distracted and hurt me. I have as my first priority a daughter to raise (she's seven) and a business to run. He has known this from the very beginning of our relationship. Now he has your articles on verbal abuse and sees himself clearly and is willing to counsel. My question is: How long is the process? Is it truly possible for deliverance of this behavior? Is it wise for me to even think of staying married to him given my life and daughter's life are at stake?

Dear Joyce,

I am sorry to hear your new marriage is starting off badly. I am not sure how to respond to you since I don't have nearly enough information.

You imply that your life and your daughter's life are "at stake". Are you in physical danger? If that is the case, or you feel threatened, you need to act immediately to protect yourself and your child! If you are speaking metaphorically, I have even more questions. For example: What do you mean by "delusional" lies? Did you have any idea that he was abusive before you married him? Is something else going on?

You need professional, in-person evaluation. That is my best advice.

Good luck,

Dr. Irene