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4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

Happy Ending For Angry Hubby

Happy Ending For Angry Hubby

January 26, 2000

Dr. Irene,

     Here is a story about my experience as an abusive husband.
     I had a problem that was based on my own fear and insecurity as to whether Cindy, my wife, needed me, loved me, or wanted to be with me. I would become angry over stupid unimportant things and get verbally abusive and violent. I never hit her, but if she hadn't done what was necessary to turn our life together around, it may have someday come to that.
     Three months ago she did what she needed to allow me to take responsibility for what I had become. She got a restraining order issued to me. At the time it was like the end of the world. Now, after learning about myself through therapy and counseling, I got to the root of my problem and I am grateful for her doing something that brought about much needed change in our relationship.
     I no longer view her as a possession or an object. I simply love her and by loving her she has been allowed to love me in return. We are back together and by going through the process of a restraining order and therapy we are now closer than we have ever been. All I had to realize was that nobody can be forced to love another person. All one can do is to show their love by respecting the other person and if it is meant to be then you will both be drawn together.
     It took me nineteen years to get to this better place and if it wasn't for Cindy allowing it to happen we would still be struggling in a world without trust, respect, or love.
     We are now not only husband and wife, but also very special friends. To almost lose everything and then be able to recover together has been a wonderful journey.
     I hope some of your contacts are able to get down to what really matters in their lives and can realize that everything else is just small stuff.
                                                          Thanks for listening, Jeff

Dear Jeff,

I love it! More, more, more! More stories like this, please! 

Thank you for writing. I know you realize you're not out of the woods yet (that takes time - a track record of experiencing your ability to walk the walk when the going gets tough), but, boy, are you on track.

Keep us posted.

My very best regards, Dr. Irene