How to get Dr. Irene's Advice: Look here!

Ask The Doc Board Archives

The CatBox Archives

Stories Archives


Below is an Interactive Board sampler. A fuller listing is found in the "Stories" menu above.

4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

CatBox Forum Policy

CatBox Forum Policy

Updated July 1, 2010

The CatBox Forum focuses on victim/abuser issues in domestic violence/emotional abuse situations.  Please do not post your identifying information (real name & address, email address, etc.). Read the following carefully. By posting you agree to adhere to policy at all times.  If in doubt, ask the Admins at .



The Administrative Team (AdminTeam) may update this policy at any time.

  • We are here to promote personal responsibility and self-control in the service of learning the skills we need to deal with abuse.

  • We are here to celebrate our differences, To learn to detach instead of try to control, and to agree to disagree.

  • We are here to celebrate self-respect and respect for other at all times.

  • Members are encouraged to embrace taking responsibility for their own emotional and mental health. One of the central values of this board is the fostering of personal responsibility and autonomy. We encourage:

    Respectful posting in general.
    Respectful posting of differences in opinion/individuality
    Privacy: what is said in this forum *stays* in this forum
    Posting that supports each other
    Celebration of the diversity of each member
    Good natured levity can disarm the most heated debate and is encouraged

There is zero tolerence for disrepectful posting, discrimination-based oposting of any kind.

Note: Free speech is not an excuse for irresponsible behavior.

Material posted on this site is not to be posted/copied/etc. elewhere, except by the author of the post. Respect copyright.

Administrators have the right to retain, invisible, delete, edit posts, lock threads, etc. for any reason they deem fit.

Administrators may ban a poster for any reason without explanation. 

Posted material becomes the property of this site.

Public flaming, contentious, disruptive posting, libelous posting, profanity, public admin challenges, reposting admin-deleted posts are not tolerated.

Multiple personas, banned accounts returning as a new persona, impersonation of a member are all strictly prohibited.

Advertising, commercially-related or competing products are all forbidden in any relation to your account.

You may not advertise or link to other forums, products, or materials in your posts, pm's, profiles, etc. without the express permission of the admin team.

Any poster deemed to be here purely to create disruption, or post spurious posts will be banned immediately.

Additional measures, such as pm monitoring, may be taken by the owner without warning.

You must be 18 and over to participate.

Feel free to "flag" questionable posts and bring them to the attention of the Administrators.

Posts and threads will be regularly pruned to reduce size and clutter without warning. You are responsible to regularly download material you may wish to keep.

Good Communications Tips

If you need to send a tough message and you are worried about how it may be perceived - Write it, then read it carefully. Look at the content, watch for particularly emotional words that may trigger. If necessary, get someone else to read it as well.

Respond in much the same manner. If you're on the receiving end of what you consider a personally offensive or triggering post, be careful about any immediate reaction that will only inflame matters.

Carefully compose a response in a word processor or on a sheet of paper to avoid impulsively posting a reply. Give it 24 hours; look over what you wrote. Is what you're saying useful, or is it an angry rant that may violate policy?

To paraphrase Soren Kierkegaard: "People demand freedom of speech as compensation for the freedom of thought which they should have used in the first place."

You don't have to respond. Just because you got a nasty message doesn't mean you must respond in kind. If you feel comfortable, privately contact the person via email or PM. If the post is particularly obnoxious, don't respond, but report it to admin. Let us handle it. Disengaging is a wonderful tool to learn to choose when and how to do it, ton a message board or in our every day lives.

If you have knowingly or unknowingly irritated someone, say you're sorry. As well-intentioned as we are, we're Human. We can mess up. We hate hurtful posts, but even the best of us will send them out from time to time. Apologize!

Remember: you can go to the person you hurt and say, "I'm sorry". It often isn't an easy thing to do, but can be critical in restoring peace and healing among members - and within yourself.

Privacy Guidelines are printed here.

Many thanks to The CatBox Admins who jointly write and update the content of this page. Dr. Irene.