| 12/8/99
Dear Dr. Irene,
"Arrested Development". I
know you can't hear or see my reaction to your site, it was very strong,
tears and all that stuff! I am the victim. 8 years of it! Being spit at,
furniture thrown at me, file foul and obscene language, verbal abuse (both
oral and written), Hatred-Hatred-Hatred, Suicide threats, Blame, and then
unbelievable emotional plea for forgiveness and acceptance! All this takes
place in front of the kids!!! (except the plea for forgiveness). After the
last physical assault, I saw a lawyer, he immediately directed me to the
domestic relations court and they promptly issued a CPO and removed my
wife from the house! 5 years of protection. The abuse did not stop of
course, she took every opportunity to orally assault me (ambush) when we
had to discuss visitation (I'm the custodial parent, she has minimal
visitation rights). Abracadabra, she is "cured," she found a
lover who understands her and meets her needs (sexual). I need, I need, I
need to understand what is wrong with her? Some friends, PhD's and
counselors said she fits exactly into something described as
"Arrested Development," a 7 year old child (emotionally) in an
adult body. Would you please help me!! I want to learn about this. If it
would be of help to you or anyone else I would gladly share my story (it's
not a very nice one, not as violent of some I've heard about, but it was
insidious (my wife is intellectually gifted) and sure has been hell for
years).
Dear Formerly
Abused Guy,
I am glad your siege
came to an end and you can finally start making sense of what
happened. "Arrested development" is a term psychodynamically-oriented
clinicians often use to describe one of the personality disorders as
defined in the DSM-IV1. Your wife is probably a borderline personality disorder, though I cannot
make an on-line diagnosis.
Please send
in your story. I would be happy to print it. (See
his story here.)
My very best
wishes, Dr. Irene
1The Diagnostic and
Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV). American
Psychiatric Association, 1994.
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