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4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

My Story: 27 Years 

My Story: 27 Years...

“Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as large as it needs to be?”
- Anon.

September 14, 2002

Well I don't really know where to start. Hmm.

We met when I was 15 and now I am 42.  He has always been unfaithful or at least as far back as I can remember.  I had my issues of infidelity as well in recent years.  Perhaps this sounds like an excuse but my dad was murdered when I was 12 and I think I was looking for love. Fortunately, the person did love me.  But back to my spouse.  He is a selfish, lying snake. 
He was abusive to my sons, and I thought it was a father's duty to whip his kids.  When it was excessive or so I perceived, I intervened as I wouldn't knowingly allow any man to abuse my children.  Later I realized it was abuse.  He abused me too, but only verbally.  I don't say only to minimize verbal abuse but I just mean not physical. 
Anyway, after 27 years I decided I have to leave.  I left 10 years ago but thought my sons needed their father.  Now one son is estranged and thinks I'm the villain and the other is in a gang.  :  (

My daughter is doing great so far,  but she is only 14 and hates her father with a passion.  I try not to encourage this as this will always be her father even after he becomes my ex. 

He has no interest in whatever interests me.  He has never been supportive when I had tough challenges to face.  Like recently when my mom had her 2nd amputation and he went on vacation.  He came back the day before my birthday - and forgot my birthday. My lover has been there for me as a husband and has provided for my children even though he got no outward recognition.  I believe this is morally wrong but he has been more of a friend than anything, so God will judge me but humans can't!
Anyway, I am so glad I found your site.  It really helped me to understand narcissistic behavior.  Thank you Dr. Irene and all the people brave enough to discuss this subject! Anisa

Thank you Anisa for sharing your story. You've certainly had your challenges! I hope the days ahead are brighter for you and yours. Warmest regards, Doc

If anybody has something to say to Anisa, type on...

  I want to read the posts.