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Below is an Interactive Board sampler. A fuller listing is found in the "Stories" menu above.

4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

Comments for Good Mess

Comments for Good Mess

Material posted here is intended for educational purposes only, and must not be considered a substitute for informed advice from your own health care provider.

Courtesy of Dr. Irene Matiatos   Copyrightę 1998-2001. The material on this website may be distributed freely for non-commercial or educational purposes provided that author credit is given. For commercial distribution, please contact the author at


Sunday October 14, 2001
08:07 PM


Monday October 15, 2001
09:58 AM

I'm glad you've learned a lot of good things about yourself in this relationship and have become a better person because of it. Be thankful that you never were actually with this person; it most likely would have been a LOT worse. Since it was an exclusively online relationship, I would suggest that it was based more on fantasy than reality. I have observed that many people (especially people with Borderline Personality Disorder, or people who are bottomless pits of need) use the internet as an attention-giving machine. You can get lots of attention from e-mail, but since there is no physical interaction, you don't have to give back, reciprocate, etc.; it's a way of being intimate and keeping your distance at the same time. I think that's what you happened upon without realizing it. Good luck to you. At least you know that no one will do this to you again. XX.

Friday October 19, 2001
11:34 AM

The pain does end before death. I am 1 1/2 years out of an abusive relationship. I chose to work very hard on my own issues and anger so I would stop making the same mistakes and having so much pain in my life. For the first time in my life, I love myself, have peace and feel happy and grateful every day. I am still in a court battle with the abuser, trying to get $$ he owes me, but now when I see him I feel nothing. Not even anger and hatred. I know I wouldn't be at this point if I had not stopped focusing on how bad he was and started becoming the person I wanted to be. I wish you the best in your journey! S.

Wednesday October 24, 2001
10:53 AM

I have the impression you put all your eggs into one basket with this internet-relationship. Surely such a relationship has limits to how far it can grow, like a tree in a small pot, and when those limits are reached you are left with nothing... Z.

Thursday November 08, 2001
09:53 PM

I am out of a bad relationship. I am reading this to remind me of the crap I am not missing. Thank You. I am though wondering if there is such a thing as a healthy relationship?????? I have yet to see one... okay two......Dianna