Dr. Irene:
I really love your website. It has helped me
tremendously. I was once married to a verbally-abusive person.
He left me for someone else and has recently married her. To make a
long story short, the woman did me a huge favor, because I know for a fact
he's treating HER the same way (we all know abusers DON'T change, because
they would have to change MORE than they want to control).
Anyway, as for Deirdre, I can hardly have sympathy for
her. Well, part of me does, and the other part doesn't. She
cheated with someone else's husband. She is just like the one mine
left me for--and this SAME woman was looking to ME for sympathy last year.
She told me "she didn't know who she was any more, couldn't be
herself, had to make all the sacrifices, he yells and nitpicks at her,
etc...." As far as I'm concerned, Deirdre and my husband's new
woman are two peas in a pod, and they're both GETTING WHAT THEY DESERVE.
I guess they both found out that they "got a lot more than what they
bargained for." My ex's woman also, like Deirdre, knew that he
treated ME rotten, too. So, why should it surprise HER that he's
doing the same to her??? Oh well.....
Patricia
(A co-dependent in recovery)
Patricia,
I understand your anger. Who wouldn't feel angry? But, that aside, assuming Deidre and
the other woman are not the same person (and even if they are), have you ever messed up? Most of us have to some extent.
And don't we each deserve the opportunity to dig ourselves out of the hole we crawled into? I sure
hope so. Think about it. Wishing you well. Doc
A survivor speaks |