Comments for Hopeless Victim

Comments for Hopeless Victim


Dr. Irene:

    I really love your website.  It has helped me tremendously.  I was once married to a verbally-abusive person.  He left me for someone else and has recently married her.  To make a long story short, the woman did me a huge favor, because I know for a fact he's treating HER the same way (we all know abusers DON'T change, because they would have to change MORE than they want to control).

    Anyway, as for Deirdre, I can hardly have sympathy for her.  Well, part of me does, and the other part doesn't.  She cheated with someone else's husband.  She is just like the one mine left me for--and this SAME woman was looking to ME for sympathy last year.  She told me "she didn't know who she was any more, couldn't be herself, had to make all the sacrifices, he yells and nitpicks at her, etc...."  As far as I'm concerned, Deirdre and my husband's new woman are two peas in a pod, and they're both GETTING WHAT THEY DESERVE.  I guess they both found out that they "got a lot more than what they bargained for."  My ex's woman also, like Deirdre, knew that he treated ME rotten, too.  So, why should it surprise HER that he's doing the same to her???  Oh well.....

(A co-dependent in recovery)

I understand your anger. Who wouldn't feel angry? But, that aside, assuming Deidre and the other woman are not the same person (and even if they are), have you ever messed up? Most of us have to some extent. And don't we each deserve the opportunity to dig ourselves out of the hole we crawled into? I sure hope so. Think about it. Wishing you well. Doc

A survivor speaks