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Doc@DrIrene.com


 

Patty's Update to Physical Vs. Verbal Abuse

July 1, 2001

Dear Doctor Irene:

I can't tell you how long ago it was (maybe April 2000) you used my question to you as an interactive post. I believe my question to you was something like: Why do you have to wait  until physical abuse starts to divorce? You called me "Patty."

I have two children. Daughter age 3 with my husband. My son age 13 (Down  Syndrome). The 3 of us are moving out Sunday 07/01/01. That's today! I hope it went/goes well. I feel successful and  nauseous at the same time. The Divorce is not far behind; I hope to file  sometime next week.

I recall you being surprised that I didn't talk about loving this man  in-spite of his name-calling and destruction of property. By the time I wrote  to you I was "in it" for the commitment/promise/vows I said. I honestly  didn't love him when he admittedly hated me and wished I was dead. I realize that. I asked you why you were there to get you thinking... This past month he really has directed more of his hate towards the children with comments like: "What?! Did the Bitch give you my coke." to S (son)  calling me a bitch to him is OK because S can't give you the definition for it-- but I can tell you what S can tell me -- "He's mean" and the saying the following to our daughter: "Stupid! Don't be an idiot like your mother!" I have no idea what she supposedly had done (I was in the other room) but I heard her reply: "I'm not stupid. I'm Annie" -- 3 years old.

I realized at that point I also don't need to be divorced from the man before we leave. Just wanted to let you know it took awhile for me to figure out what the right thing to do was; but now that I know it is a done deal. Good for you for taking the time to decide what to do and not being impulsive. I have signed a 1 years lease someplace that is safe for my children and I to live. Movers will be here Sunday Morning and our first night in our new house should be quiet and at peace.

Thank-you for listening and having this place to come. Thank you for letting us know where you are. Please keep us posted.

Patty

*Smile

And the very best to you Patty, Dr. Irene

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