April 10, 2002
I stumbled on your site about verbal abuse and it has helped me to
understand my relationship with my second husband. It has been a year now
since we have separated and I have returned to writing poetry as my own
form of therapy. I'd like to share with you one of my poems written during
the past year. As you can see, I was well on my way to sorting things
out: Thank you for the beautiful
poem. Dr. Irene
"I
Walked Again to
Half
Moon Beach Tonight"
I
walked again to Half Moon Beach tonight.
My
favorite thinking rock, I settled on
to
contemplate your question as the light
diminished with the setting of the sun.
You ask
if I'm still happy on my own.
Yes,
truly I can say that I'm content.
But my
good cheer comes not from being alone,
but
from release from constant curtailment.
Unsuitable, I came to think I was
as I
incurred each petulant retort
and
edited myself to cut the cause
'till
plying me became his favorite sport.
Yet in
my misery, I chose to stay
rather
than face the threat of solitude.
I
feared that if I sent him on his way,
I'd
have to face my own ineptitude.
In the
faith of my child, I found the will
to pull
away before it was too late.
So,
bolstered by the confidence of Gill,
I set
upon the course to separate.
For
loneliness cannot be more profound
when
looking at that stranger in your bed,
the one
you'd hoped would turn your life around
but
changed it to captivity instead.
It's
right that I should isolate as I
recover
bits of my identity
discarded in attempts to mollify,
until
I'm truly back to being me.
Now I
can hope to meet that one who'll be
enraptured by each little thing I do
while
I'm contented simply being me.
Yes,
I'm alone and yes, I'm happy too.
Copyright 2001 by Sharon
Stockdale. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission.
