Home

The CatBox Forum

Ask The Doc Board

 

8/14 Interactive Board: Accepting Reality - Or Not

2/9 Interactive Board: What Do I Do?

4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

 6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

Doc@DrIrene.com


 

Make-Do Women

Contributed by Nell

March 12, 2000

This was forwarded to me--one of those many anonymous things floating in cyberspace. This one I really needed, but it also raises a question: Are almost ALL women co-dependent?

God bless you for the work you are doing, Nell

Make-Do Women

When I was preparing to get married, I started getting all sorts of advice, especially at bridal showers and things like that from family and friends. But one of the most interesting "lessons" came from a woman I met for the first time, just a few weeks before the big day. She said, "Honey, whatever you do, don't ever let yourself become a "make-do" woman". I had no idea what she meant, but of course she was about to explain. She continued, "men don't deny themselves anything. Whatever they want to buy, they buy. Whatever they want to do, they do. Meanwhile, there is the wife, making do with her hair not being done, her clothes from yesteryear, her nails in need, never had a pedicure, scraping the bottom of her tube of lipstick! Oh, I could go on and on with how "we" make do. And why? Because the car needs fixing, this bill is behind, we have to use our time to take care of this, or take care of that, we're saving for this, working, cooking, cleaning, raising, etc."

She warned me to never become a make-do woman, because she says if you start, it is hard to stop and one could easily find themselves making-do for the rest of their lives. It's not good to start something that you do not intend to finish. I vowed, it would never happen to me. I didn't think much more of the conversation until one day I began to take notice, she was right.

Men are a lot better at being good to themselves. Some call it being selfish, there has to be another word for it. Yes. Tell me if you know. Self-caring! Whatever you call it. It does have its place. When they want to play ball, or golf, or fish, they go! When they want to buy clothes, or equipment, or video games, or whatever their "thing" is, they buy! Have you ever tried to stop one? Has anyone ever been able to stop one? Let me know!

When I look around I see a whole heap of make-do women, married or not, with or without children, they are all over the place! I have decided that I am going to make my best effort to become a "make-time" woman! I will make the time to do what I need to do to be good to myself, whether that's a trip to the salon, or the gym, or the mall. This time I'm gonna take a lesson from the guys!
 

Some good points! Thank you Nell. Dr. Irene

top

Back Up Next

 

  Back Up Next

Website Design, Content, & Trubble 1998-2006 Dr. Irene and the The Medical Communications Resource.  All Rights Reserved. The contents of this site may be reproduced expressly and exclusively for not-for-profit publication in printed format as long as the source URL, the website, and the author(s) are specifically mentioned. Sites interested in publishing specific pages online should link unless granted specific permission to reproduce.  For permission or commercial distribution, please contact Dr. Irene at Doc@drirene.comThe pages and posts in our forum, The CatBox, may not be reproduced. All material is intended for educational purposes and must not be considered a substitute for informed advice from your own health care provider.