Dr Irene,

Just wanted to drop a note and thank you again for your site. I wrote you back about two years ago when I first recognized that not only was my father verbally abusive, but I had brought these traits into my marriage as well.

Through your site, as well as counseling, I have shed many of the negative traits I carried. It hasn't been easy, and there is still work to do. Every now and then, especially in stressful times, I find myself starting to revert back to my old behaviors. But the good news is that now I have the ability to recognize the behavior, ( something I was lacking before), and stop it many times when its a thought and not even an action.

My relationship with my parents is still tense, and probably will always be. Once you free yourself from this abusive pattern, its very hard to put yourself back in a position to allow it. But that's OK, I have a wife and children who are my priority. If my parents, and the rest of my family fail to recognize the abusive pattern they live in, then I must move on without them.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that your site was a big help, and to lend encouragement to anyone else who is or was verbally abusive.

Dear (  ),

This is the stuff I love to hear. Thank you for writing! 

I wish you continued success.

My warmest wishes,